Quote of the Day

Monday, 26 June 2017

Interpersonal Conflict in a relationship

June 2017

Hello everyone, how are you? I hope you have been enjoying the Minions and Transformer movie franchises that opened in the cinemas recently. I would like to ask for some help and advice so that I can learn from you...

This is a hypothetical situation which needs your input so that  we can all learn from each other. Have you ever been in similar situations? Have your friends told you how they have dealt with such problems? Could you be so kind as to leave some comments on my blog post so that we can share how to resolve our common communication problems in relationships? I hope you can leave some good advice so the readers can build up confidence in relationships and have better, happier lives. Here is the scenario, I hope can analyse and identify with it and provide some advice. Thank you so much and may the odds always be in your favour!




There were two undergraduates in a western part of Singapore who liked each other. Veronica and James were in the same course in University. As you know in universities, cliques are formed and people tend to stick together based on similar interests. James was slightly shy and somewhat a social outcast. Vicky was one of those with long hair, long legs and an even longer list of friends in Instagram. He had a crush on the Veronica ever since orientation in April 2017.  He gets anxious around her as he feels that he is not good enough. He does approach her from time to time to ask how she is and they have had some canteen meals together. However, he still feels anxious and pressurised when there are people around them as he feels that there are eyes shooting daggers at him when he is around her. Once he helped her carry her Anello bag and he got scolded by her BFF. Veronica is a popular girl who is smart and has accomplished many feats like helping out homeless children in Batam, buying groceries for the elderly folks in Redhill ( those who could not leave their home) and was an activist for Club Rainbow NGO that supports charitable causes.

The problem arises because Veronica likes him and wants him to approach her to try to form a relationship. However, James is not confident enough to approach her because he feels he is unworthy. James does not think he has the potential in being a good boyfriend for such a proactive, outgoing and bubbly girl. Veronica fancied James because she did see him working hard during School events and may get EXCO position in an Arts Club. She saw that he did try his best in Film 101  Module gaining praises from the lecturer quite often. She found his nervousness around her adorable as she could see him breaking into sweat, something her alpha male boyfriend never did for her. She has had an ex boyfriend who was also a medicine undergrad and popular in the Inter-Varsity Rugby Team. He likes to accompany her around and screen her friend’s lists to make sure she was not mixing with the wrong crowd or people he disliked. He feels like he is protecting her even though they are no longer together but are still good friends.

Dealing with the troublesome ex:
Do you think that Veronica’s ex-boyfriend should continue to control who is in her life and who should not be?

Communication strategies for shy people:
How do you think James should express himself to Veronica in order to be in a relationship?

Asserting independence from someone who cares for you deeply:
How should Veronica communicate to her ex-boyfriend to allow her to start a relationship if she chooses to, even if he thinks the new boyfriend is not good for her?

Breaking bad news gently:
How should she go about turning James down if she does not see a future in their relationship?

Closing the distance through communication:
If Veronica and James were to decide to be together as a couple what are some communication rules to practise towards each other so as to not to end up quarreling?




Friday, 26 May 2017

Final Draft of First Post

Hello everyone, welcome to my blog! In this blog I hope to share with you some of the ideas which I have, and also hope to hear from you about yourself. Let us all enjoy our interactions together as we go through our Communications Module  150 in DigiPen Institute of Singapore.

Hi guys, I am Wee Zhen Yang. Today I am going to touch on the topic communication.

What is Communication?
Communication is a basic form of relating with others and expressing one’s views and opinions. In the interpersonal domain, effective communications must consist of carefully spoken words and one must be very conscious of one’s own nonverbal gestures, eye contact, facial expressions and body language.

 My Strengths in Communication
One of my strengths in communication is being able to read between the lines of what people say when they are talking to each other. I can sense emotions hidden within their words, be it negative or positive. Knowing this, I would try to empathetically convey what I feel to them so as not to offend them or cause any conflict between myself and others. I also have good presentation skills. For example, I always establish eye contact when presenting to an audiences to show my interest in them, using an enthusiastic voice to liven the mood. I also prompt the audiences with thought provoking questions which makes them think of different alternatives and scenarios which could happen. The application of this strategy of audience-centred communication where a presenter activates prior schemata by engaging audiences to provide answers on what they already know. Audiences who feel valued for their past experiences will pay more attention to what is being presented

My Weakness in Communication

Despite knowing how to present effectively, I have some issues in communications which include interacting in social settings. This difficulty arises from a combination of factors. Firstly, I lack confidence in myself, where I worry over what others think of what I say and how I portray myself in social settings. These difficulties arise when I meet and interact with diverse types of people who have other ways of communicating that are different from my own. I find alpha males or dominant people intimidating. They are usually the type of people who are very single minded where they only accept their way of doing things. For example, during one of my lectures, I was in a group with two dominant guys. When I was confused and asked certain questions or raised an idea, it was not looked at favourably nor was the question replied to at all. There was always a power struggle as it was usually the popular people who were more dominant where their views are accepted while the view of others are brushed aside. Worse, some use the ideas which were thought of by other people, but some people claim it for themselves, which is demeaning. Domineering people tend to put other people down to feel and appear superior. Hence, I have difficulty accepting them.


My Goals for the Module
What I hope to take away from Communications and Interpersonal Work Communications is how to handle difficult situations better. Examples of such situations include group work with members who are stubborn and refuse to listen to others, or people with a huge ego who think they know everything. I would like to handle difficult people and not let them affect me emotionally as some of their behaviour might be very draining for me on a day-to-day basis. This allows me to sustain a healthy relationship when there are group projects to do together. 


Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Non-Verbal Communication and roles in Interpersonal Relationships

Hi everyone, hope you guys are coping with your studies. It was never an easy journey but if you keep your mind at it and try your best I am sure you will be able to make it. Today I am reflecting on the topic on Non-verbal communication and roles it plays in Interpersonal Relationships.


What is Non-verbal Communication? 



Non-verbal Communication is a form of communication asides from words. Examples of Non-Verbal Communications are  such as body language, facial expression,  posture, gestures and eye contact. All these play a part in how people will perceive you when you are communicating with them or when you are in a group and the others watch your every move and action. You will not have to even speak a word for them to judge you.



What is listening?



Let me ask you a question. Do you think you are a good listener? There are many ways you can be a listener and it depends on your personality type or the situation you are in. Active listening is part and parcel of building interpersonal communications. Being able to identify your preferred style of listening will help point out potential barriers as everyone has a different style of listening.



Types of Listening



People orientated Listening

People who love to interact with others and lend a listening ear are what you would call a People Orientated person. When they speak to you they focus their attention on other's feelings and show an interest in whatever they are saying. They will be more emotionally involved with others and will show forms of acknowledgement when listening with a nod of their head or keeping good eye contact with them. 


Action Orientated Listening

People who like to get down to business are usually action orientated listeners as they want to know what actions have taken place, who performed them and when they will happen. They tend to want things to be in order and when they find any inconsistencies with the information you are telling to them they will point it out to you. They do often jump the gun and finish other people's sentences and will get irritable when people beat around the bush and not get down to the main points.


Content Orientated Listening

People who like facts and evidence and challenging the speaker on their facts to determine the logic of the argument. They also tend to be more judgmental and like asking a lot of questions to get more facts out of them.


Time Orientated Listening

People who like to watch the time or expression their urgency to leave as they have other things to do and tell others that they are in a hurry tend to be focused solely on the time that they can spend listening to others.


From what I have understood and learnt from today's lesson on types of listening, I have come to the conclusion that I am mainly a people orientated listener as I do tend to sacrifice my time to listen to other people's problems and be a listening ear as well as not judge them for what they have to say as I will never understand or be in their situation as do I have situations or problems that people will not understand. I spend a lot of time with my mom and listen to her problems and how her days has gone as just the understanding that cherishing the moment and spending quality time with my family and mom gives me comfort and nothing last forever. We all do pass away at some point in our lives we will the ones we love so cherish your time now and spend more time with them as when your parents nag you all they are asking is for a little bit of your time as they have spent many years looking after you and what is that small amount of time spent compared with the time they have spent bringing you up and naturing you and giving you the best of what they can give you. Listening to somebody will make their day as who knows what has happened to them and it wont hurt to learn more about others and be glad you having done good from time to time as humans are social creatures and communicating with one another is a way to show an interest to learn. 



Thank you for taking your time to read this and I hope you have learnt and enjoy reading it as we all have a purpose in life and be happy with whoever you are and make the best of what life brings you!!



- Wee Zhen Yang

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Final Draft of First Post

Hello everyone, welcome to my blog! In this blog I hope to share with you some of the ideas which I have, and also hope to hear from you about yourself. Lets all enjoy our interactions together as we go through our Communications Module  150 in DigiPen Institute of Singapore.

Hi guys, I am Wee Zhen Yang. Today I am going to touch on the topic communication.

What is Communication?

Communication is a basic form of relating with others and expressing one’s views and opinions. There are many forms of communication. The various forms of communications are made even greater because of the various forms of media that are available. In the interpersonal domain, communications can be in form of verbal – consisting of spoken words, and nonverbal – consisting of gestures, eye contact, facial expressions or body language.

 My Strengths in Communication

 My strengths in communication are being able to read between the lines of what people say when they are talking to each other. I can sense emotions hidden within their words, may it be negative or positive. Knowing this, I would try to shift and adjust how to convey what I feel to them so as not to offend them or cause any conflict between myself and others. I also have good presentation skills. For example, I always establish eye contact when presenting to an audiences to show my interest in them, using an enthusiastic voice to liven the mood. I also prompt the audiences with thought provoking questions which makes them think of different alternatives and scenarios which could happen.

My Weakness in Communication

The difficulties I have had or encountered so far include meeting  and interacting with diverse types of people who have other ways of communicating that are different from my own. I find alpha males or dominant people intimidating. They are usually the type of people who are very single minded where they only accept their way of doing things. For example, during one of my lectures, I was in a group with two dominant guys. When I was confused and asked certain questions or raised an idea, it was not looked at favourably nor was the question replied to at all. There was always a power struggle as it was usually the popular people who were more dominant where their views are accepted while the view of others are brushed aside. Worse, some use the ideas which were thought of by other people, but some people claim it for themselves and say it as their own which is demeaning.

My Goals for the Module


What I hope to take away from Communications and interpersonal work communications is how to handle situations better and can work around difficult people. I would like to handle difficult people and not let it affect me emotionally as it can be very draining for me on a day to day basis. This allow me to sustain a healthy relationship even when there are projects to do together. 

Do drop me a message and let's keep in touch!
May the force be with you ~

Sunday, 14 May 2017

Strengths and Weakness in Communicating

Hi guys, I am Wee Zhen Yang. Today I am going to touch on the topic communication.
What is Communication?
Communication is a basic form of relating with others and expressing your views and opinions. There are many forms of communication. They can be in form of gestures or words or body language.
Strength
 My strengths in communication is being able to read in between the lines of what people say when they are talking to each other and sense emotions within their words may it be negative or positive, I try to shift how to convey what I feel to them as not to offend them or cause any conflict between myself and others. I am also good in presenting in ways for example, always keeping in eye contact when presenting to an audience to show my interest in them, using a lively voice to liven the mood in the room, prompting the audience with questions which makes them think of different scenarios which could happen and try to overcome them.
Weakness
Moving on to the difficulties I have had or encountered so far, different people have other ways of communicating. I find alpha males or dominant people intimidating. They are usually the type of people who are very single minded where they only accept their way of doing things. For example, during one of my lectures, I was in a group with two dominant guys. When I was confused and asked certain questions or put out an idea, it was not looked at or replied at all. There was always a power struggle as it was usually the popular people who were more dominating in the sense that their views are accepted while yours are brushed aside or they use your idea and say it as their own which is demeaning. 
Goal

What I hope to take away from Communications and interpersonal work communications is how to handle situations better and be able to work around the difficult people to handle and not let it affect me emotionally as it can be very draining for me from day to day when interacting with them almost everyday.